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Balancing Your Relationship and Your Non-Negotiables

Happy Tuesday and welcome back to the blog!


I hope this week brings you a renewed sense of motivation and inspiration to totally kickass in every aspect of your life! In case you missed it, yesterday on Instagram I was talking a lot about setting intentions and making plans. I think it’s so important we change the narrative of Mondays and look at it as a new opportunity to set our plans into action. To create attainable goals and really go after what each and every one of us wants in life! For me, it was getting back on track with my health and meal-prepping for the week. For others, it was to call a friend, to cut back on coffee or to take the jump and invest in starting a new business. Whatever it is, go after it with all that you have.

On this topic, the thought of balance came up. Relationships, work, hobbies, non-negotiables...how the heck do we balance it all?! Balancing non-negotiables both personal and professional, while still maintaining healthy relationships is what we’re talking about today! As someone who’s had a crazy work ethic since the time I was a kid, balance was always hard work for me. It doesn’t come naturally and there were times that I seriously struggled, and even now I have days where I drop the ball. But you have to find a schedule that works for you and the people important in your life. Define your non-negotiables, your goals and your dreams, and figure out how to incorporate them into your daily life!


What do you think of when you hear the word ‘non-negotiable’? Personally, the word has started to mean I hold myself accountable the way I would when I make an appointment at the doctors. I set time each day for myself to do the things I know that fuel me and make me feel better. But to make that happen for myself in my already busy schedule, I have to make some changes. For me, it means getting up earlier. Yes, that can be rough! But it also means I get an extra 14 more hours a week for myself (that’s almost two full days). We so often put ourselves last, running around and showing up for everybody else first! And while we all have responsibilities like work, family, spouses etc. I’ve learned that if I don’t take care of myself first I really am no use to anyone else. And on the rare day where I don’t take that time for myself for my non-negotiable, I go through the rest of the day frustrated that I didn’t get my own time in.

So often we equate being busy and a little stressed out with being worthy and accomplished. We never even really think about if we feel good doing the things that we do, or if they bring us joy in life. We’re all on autopilot for the majority of the day! But take time to decide what’s important to you, what will fuel your happiness tank. Not only will this keep you energized, you’re also more likely to show up for those things!

This year my mantra was that if it doesn’t bring me joy or produce income, I’m not interested. More or less, it’s a ‘hard no’ of it doesn’t fit in either category. Setting that guideline has helped me make decisions a lot faster and easier. I don’t dwell on things anymore. If you make feeling good a priority the same way you make exercise and family a priority, I promise you everything else in your life will flow easily.


Communicating your goals with your family and friends is so important. Finding that balance at home can be a challenge. That’s another reason why I wake up super early, its what works for me—I’m definitely more of a morning person! Find what works for you—and works for your family—and follow that. Also know that down the line, you may need to adjust as your schedule changes.

As far as business goes, communicating non-negotiables can be a little bit more tricky. Establishing yourself and your boundaries takes time and experience. After almost 20 years in the business I rarely come across anyone trying to haggle my prices. Most of my clients are referral-based and come in knowing the value of what they’re getting from me. But that has taken many years and many hard conversations.


When you’re just starting out and you’re hungry for clients, sometimes you’re willing to take 10 dollars off here or half-off there just to appease somebody and fill your chair. My theory behind that is that it is totally okay! Until your books are so full you can wean yourself off of those clients. The busier you get, the higher demand there is for you, and the more you can charge!


And in my case, the less days I work. I now work 3 days a week, double-booked thanks to my assistant. I can do in those three days what used to take me five full days. It was very challenging to move people from Saturdays to evening appointments and condense down to three days. But the freedom to have more days off a week then I work is amazing.


It’s allowed me to chase other passions and hobbies which creates a lot more joy in my life! The thing about balance is that it’s like a pendulum. Sometimes it swings one way, but it will always come back and swing the other. There will be periods of time where family is going to take up the majority of your energy and time, for whatever reason, just like there will be times where the pendulum will swing toward your business (that’s where I’m at right now) or education. It’s a constant, continuous give-and-take that changes as you progress in your life. At the center of all of that, is you. Your needs, wishes, and hopes for your life. Your relationships, career, a total balance of you and who you are.


Remember at the end of the day, we all have choices! How you choose to show up in your life, how you choose to handle daily tasks or hardships. Our lives are defined by our choices!


Let’s start showing up as the person we strive to be!! Who do you want to be??

Drop me a comment, I’d love to know!!


Hope you have an amazing rest of your week!

So much love!

Jess

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